| "We're All Ordinary People" |
[Jan. 21st, 2007|03:16 am] |
Made good money tonight.
I don't like who I've been lately. ...So of course I've trying really hard lately to not be that.
It makes things worse.
I'm kind of tired of people.
Please don't be alarmed if I disappear for a day or two.
Go away funk.
Jamie Cullum has a nice, smooth voice. And is not John Legend,
but is the white equivalent. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2007|11:20 pm] |
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I guess it's suppose to hurt. |
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| Okay In The Middle |
[Dec. 30th, 2006|11:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "I Asked When" by Brett Dennen | ] |
Yeah, I do feel like an idiot for letting my tooth problem come to this, but I don't let myself feel like an idiot too much. I'm going to let myself just this once.
Sister Act the Musical is being put on at the Alliance in late January. Yes I will being going.
It's based off one of my favorite films...Sister Act.
I did notice a difference in my dental health when I couldn't afford mouthwash a few months back. That was the wrong sacrifice to make.
I'm still deciding about tomorrow night.
It's nice to hear from him.
The shirt doesn't fit quite right, but I'm in the mode where it doesn't really matter, which I like.
Would I just be going to watch after them?
One of my Pandora stations relates to a certain relationship, song after song, so I choose not to listen to it.
Salt water is to be rinsed with often.
Pain killers do kill.
I could easily be down right now, but I'm not.
I could easily be scolding myself, saying I should be happy, but I'm not.
I'm just in here. In the Middle.
I'm liking it.
Change the context of something. See what happens. |
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| Blah |
[Dec. 27th, 2006|07:15 pm] |
Stomach Virus = Bad.
Toothache with a swollen jaw = Worse.
The two together = What feels like an early death.
My 9:30 Dentist Visit couldn't come soon enough. |
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| Getting Through. |
[Dec. 20th, 2006|12:12 am] |
4 and a half hours around him didn't do me much good.
I'm getting through it.
I'm using the mind mentality of a strong southern black woman.
She believes in herself, knows she is worth something, and will not tolerate those who don't embrace the fact she's big and beautiful.
"I am strong" She says.
"I am worth something.
Don't you dare ask me how I am, when I know you do not care.
You may notice I don't ask you back. I do care, even though I know I shouldn't.
That's what makes me the good person. The Strong Person.
Don't you dare ask me how I am, when I know you do not care." |
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| Learned to Loathe |
[Dec. 11th, 2006|09:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" by Jack Johnson | ] |
I truly hate the days
When a person feels good, looks good, and all they want is to be around others...but no one wants to be around them.
Remember your forgotten friends before they're gone.
I'm working on this as well. |
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| I Can't Help It |
[Dec. 10th, 2006|02:12 pm] |
Ditto what Tori says!
"im a mess.
and all i want
is a hug and a good cry." |
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| Just When I Don't Need It |
[Dec. 3rd, 2006|10:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  slightly frustrated, but okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Breaking Your Fall" by Chris Whitley | ] |
I hope he realizes he was the cause of all the stupid drama that she is contacting me about.
It holds true: communication is the key.
Honesty (presented in a respectful way) is always good, even if it hurts to hear.
It's stupid how he was the one to always say that.
I don't need this on the day before the final draft is due, but that's the way it always goes.
I'm breathing, which is always good. |
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| I Feel Good! ...For Now at Least |
[Nov. 27th, 2006|06:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Dirty Laundry" by Bitter:Sweet | ] |
This morning it happened!
For the past two days I've been up and down, in and out of bed, to work on my research paper (which has an effective rough draft done now, in case you're wondering).
My frustration towards people has been building up horribly lately.
It finally came to the point this morning at 4am, having just gotten up to work on my paper, that I got HORRIBLY MAD. EXTREMELY Mad for me. I was fighting back tears, I was THAT pissed off.
Then it popped.
I suddenly feel an emergence of my positive self. Things that have been pissing me off now have rational meaning in my head.
It was always there, I just didn't know how to get it out.
I'm happy at the moment.
My stomach isn't because of Egg Nog last night, then Coffee this morning.
But at least I'm happy.
Happy Monday! |
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| These Worked For Me |
[Nov. 26th, 2006|11:12 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "She's Mine" by Brett Dennen | ] |
These Things Helped Make the Day Just a Bit Better:
The things they tell me sober are the same things they tell me when they are drunk, which is a good sign.
The sofa Alanna's isn't the best to sleep up, but it's nice to wake up with her around.
Cleaning can be fun with a friend.
Children who's parents are both obese are 2.5 times more likely to be obese...and I've broken that for my family line! Woot!
A bulk of the paper is already done and it's not even due for another 24 hours.
Discounts at IHOP are becoming a normal thing.
When I talk to him, everything seems to make since. It's too bad he's a wee bit of a jerk.
People really wanted it to work.
Stephanie has a special gift for anyone that enters the kitchen.
It took for ever, but I'm finally feeling a little bit of relief. |
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| These Helped Me Out |
[Nov. 23rd, 2006|12:43 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Sunrise" by Norah Jones | ] |
Normally I would be putting this post on Facebook, but, as some people might not have caught on to yet, I'm taking a much needed break from Facebook.
These Things Helped Make the Day Just a Bit Better:
Claywork is an art form that I should never be distant from ever again.
Pre-meditation makes for a better nap.
He lies to or misinforms people.
I'm not the only one frustrated by Tyra's show format or Clay Aiken.
Leanne liked her birthday gift, regardless of the fact it was a month late.
Kristy and Christina are both VERY good at Mancala.
I finally got to talk to Alanna, at least for a little bit.
Matt, Joe, and Andrew are going to be happy roommates.
Liz contradicts with amazing confidence.
Star fish!
It is now known: the word "Snuff" should NEVER be used in a game of Apples to Apples.
My scalp is burnt, but my hair looked great.
GCN radio is uplifting background noice.
Tori sort of stalks me (As she does everyone), and it makes me happy that it's her.
-Scottie
It's Thanksgiving! Hug your mom! |
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| I'm Offically Tired. |
[Nov. 20th, 2006|01:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional | ] |
Being overwhelmed is a part of life.
Coming to terms with that a long time ago has already helped me be a better person...but I'm now at another hurtle. I'm Tired.
I'm honestly tired and done.
-I'm tired of catching up.
-I'm tired of worrying.
-I'm tired of being just short of doing the work right.
-I'm tired of being told they need me, but then giving me nothing to do.
-I'm tired of applying for work.
-I'm tired of acting like I'm not OVERWHELMINGLY excited to see him enter the room, when I really am.
-I'm tired of everyone being sick.
-I'm tired of not getting to see my best friend.
-I'm tired of making excuses.
-I'm tired of sticking up for others.
-I'm tired of taking excuses.
-I'm tired of worrying.
-I'm tired of text messages.
-I'm tired of vegetables.
-I'm tired of being so positive...sometimes.
But what good will any of this do? ...Well sometimes it just helps to say it and move on.
And being the cheesy, positive person I am, I'm going to try my best to focus on what I'm excited about...
-I'm excited to go to my dad's for Thanksgiving, oddly enough.
-I'm excited to do my scene design project for Visual Imagination.
-I'm excited to be getting back into Yoga and meditation.
-I'm excited to have a good new friend.
-I'm excited for the cold weather!
-I'm excited to have so much to be thankful for.
-I'm excited that people enjoyed Cranium Night.
-I'm ...not really convinced by this list yet, but I'm trying!
No Worries. No Worries. Stay Positive. BREATHE.
Breathe.
Yeah.
Good. |
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| Imagine the Possibilities! |
[Oct. 16th, 2006|03:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Emma J" by Brendan Benson | ] |
I have it in my mind that I am VERY behind and not doing well at all. I'll blame Urinetown for that. I'm not sad that I'm in the show in ANY way. I just need something to blame, like most of us do.
...but why should I blame Urinetown? I should blame something that it doesn't sound upsetting to blame.
...I'll blame Red Ink Pens!
'Damn you Red Ink Pens of the world! I'm way behind in school and it's all YOUR fault! So HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME MAKE UP FOR IT?!'
That feels a little better.
What feels better than that is the fact that I'm actually not doing horribly bad for being in a show at the same time.
I have high "B"s for most of my classes. I can't help but wonder what my grades would be without the show.
Would they be better because I could keep up with deadlines better?
Would I, like normal, get lazy and not try as hard as I am?
Would I still be blaming the Red Ink Pens of the World?
...I shall ponder on this as I write an essay I'm not clear on.
I think I scared him off too. There I go again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 10th, 2006|11:44 am] |
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I love it. It's nice. |
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| Making The Effort |
[Sep. 28th, 2006|08:06 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | grateful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "The Travel Song" by Pilate | ] |
Yes! I am up and doing well this morning.
I've had a problem with that lately. Generally I split up my sleep. I sleep for 4-5 hours each night then take a 2-3 hour nap before rehearsal...but lately I've had to cut the 2-3 hours before rehearsal.
I never realized how vital that sleep was for me.
Extremely vital.
Which is why I'm back at it.
Thursday=Cleaning/Homework day.
Happy Thursday to all! |
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| Leap Frog Never Was My Strong Suit |
[Sep. 27th, 2006|01:14 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Shy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Eddie Walker" by Ben Folds Five | ] |
Okay...time once again to take a leap.
Nope. Too Scared.
Why? Who knows. |
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| My Turn To Breath |
[Sep. 20th, 2006|12:32 pm] |
I'm so tired, but I've slept so much.
I think my body is trying to shut itself down again, but I'm not going to let it this time. Don't get me wrong, I plan to take it easy, like I should. I'M going to be the one in control this time.
What is this? The word "No" has come to be part of Scottie's vocabulary? ...at this I say yes.
Now that I write this, I suddenly recieved a message from Derek.
Mrs. Rosemary, one of the dearest women I have ever met has passed away. She was head of the dining staff at Wahsega 4-H Center and had been battling cancer for quite some time. She died from organ failure caused by the cancer.
I realize none of the people who read my livejournal know her.
Wow. I'm hit hard by this. Harder that I usually would have been. I think it's because the message SUDDENLY popped up on AIM.
It's nice that she's not fighting it anymore. I'm praying for her family. |
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| If Only It Was Known |
[Sep. 20th, 2006|01:26 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Upside Down" by Jack Johnson | ] |
The past few days, I have gone through a LARGE spectrum of moods.
I don't know how good of a thing that is. I mean, it's nice not always loathing and being depressed, but it's also annoying not being steady. ...oh well.
CAPS Center sounds nice. Then again, so does a good cup of coffee.
I easily could be really freaking out about how overwhelmed I am...but I'm not.
So I'm proud of myself for that.
I'm off to study for a quiz. Then it's off to bed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2006|09:58 pm] |
The smell of fall has been creeping in.
I can't stop smiling.
I've bought my first batch of candy corn fall blend. |
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